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Update - NOT buying a condo for in-laws

August 24th, 2016 at 09:07 am

FIL's health is in rapid decline. His doctor says that he may live another year, or he could die before 2016 year-end. The doctor has given approval for FIL to move in to a hospital to live out the rest of his life, but FIL will not go . . . at least not yet. DH's opinion is "He has no choice. He has to go." and will try to convince him thus when he visits next month. DH sees it as necessary to save MIL's health and sanity. We'll see.

A move (other than to a hospital) is out of the question right now.

Also, DH has been consulting with his BFF who is knowledgeable about the local real estate market and has concluded that buying a condo is not a good idea, because they think the RE market in DH's home country is in for a lengthy decline with no bottom in sight. It would make more sense to just provide some sort of monetary subsidy.

For the time being, MIL & FIL will stay where they are. After FIL passes, MIL's options will be wide open. She will probably move back to her old neighborhood (where we had planned to purchase the condo and which is near family), but there is also a slight chance she may move in with her sister in another city, or try something different. When the time comes, and she's ready to make the decision, I know she'll talk things over with DH. She always does.

FrugalTexan had asked if it was an option for them to move to the USA near us. At this time it is not. When we relocated to Austin, FIL & MIL applied for a visa so that they could move near us but were denied. US citizens aren't allowed to sponsor in-laws, so I can't. DH would only be able to sponsor MIL if he got US citizenship. He has looked in to citizenship, but so far has decided against it because dual citizenship isn't an option. He's willing to be a US citizen, but not yet ready to give up the citizenship he has had all of his life. I understand that.

SecretarySaving asked about home delivery of groceries, which is a great idea. I mentioned that to DH and he likes the idea. MIL does not have a computer or use the internet, so DH is going to look into it when he visits next month. Perhaps they could set up some sort of regular delivery, or he could order for her from here in the US? He'll check to see if that's feasible.

(Now that I think about it, while writing this out it dawns on me that giving some money to DH's BFF and asking him to place the orders might also work. The guy is a peach. He's 100% responsible and trustworthy, and has been DH's friend through thick and thin since elementary school. I'll throw that out to DH as an option.)

On a positive note, FIL has started going to adult day care one or two days a week. He tried it in the past and didn't like it so stopped going. Now he is willing because he is getting some essential care (specifically bathing) when he is at day care, so that takes some of the load off of MIL.

I'm going to put together a deluxe assortment of chocolates for DH to bring to FIL when he visits next month. FIL loves chocolates, and we always send some, but this time it will be an extra special lot. I will also send a bit of cash for MIL to use as she sees fit.

As far as what sort of assistance we will provide down the road, that remains to be seen. At the very least, there will be more overseas trips in DH's future and some form of financial assistance to MIL. I won't be surprised to see years of flat household net worth, and that will be just fine.

"People first, then money, then things." - Suze Orman

5 Responses to “Update - NOT buying a condo for in-laws”

  1. Wife of the Deacon Says:


    Well, it sounds like things are going as well as can be expected in light of the current situation. I hope that your MIL is able to get the assistance that she needs to deal with her husband's situation. I love the idea of having the BFF in the home country being helpful with funds and ordering.

    We have the situation of hoping to relocate in several years (like 1700 miles away from where we presently are). My husband is an only child and we will have to deal with his parents and where they will go (or how to deal with them if they stay). I can't wait to get through our present financial maelstrom to come with a comprehensive plan for the future.

  2. scottish girl Says:

    I wonder if it's possible for your dh to order groceries online in the US for his parents? It'd be good if he can. Surely, he only needs their bank card details and address and obviously what they need?

  3. FrugalTexan75 Says:

    That's too bad that his health has declined so much. {{hugs}} as you deal with all this

  4. VS_ozgirl Says:

    Sorry to hear about the rapid decline, paying for their food sounds like a really good idea!

  5. LivingAlmostLarge Says:

    sorry for the news

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