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Saving Advice Splitting into 2 Worlds?

May 29th, 2008 at 04:23 pm

As much as I love SA, I'm finding that I keep taking breaks from the forums more frequently and for longer periods of time.

It may just be my imagination, but the forums seem to be devolving in to a bunch of people fighting over who is right, and they are becoming downright uncivil.

Today was the last straw. I think for the sake of my stress levels, I should take a permanent break from the forums and just stick to the blogs (which of course I still LOVE).

This is what set me off. Someone wrote in a post "This board is retarded." Personally, I find that to be as offensive as any racial slur (and I live in multi-racial family so I've heard it all). Having a brother who is developmentally disabled no doubt makes me more sensitive to this than other people, and I have always been offended by that term even when it came from immature kids, but to hear it coming from an adult in what is supposed to be a civil discussion board ... Ugh!

It really seems like this site has split in to 2 worlds: The great folks who truly want to support each other and exchange ideas on the blogs, and the nasty bickering folks who are just trying to see who can scream louder than the others on the forums.

Am I the only one noticing this?

18 Responses to “Saving Advice Splitting into 2 Worlds?”

  1. thriftorama Says:

    There are always going to be poopyheads who say things just to get a rise out of people. I personally would hate to lose you off the forums because I value your opinions.

  2. monkeymama Says:

    Agreed with thrift.

    I don't really notice. I apparently have not been reading the same threads as you?

    However, I have been on online communities so long, it's pretty much how it always is. I just ignore the stuff I don't care for. I find that easy to do I guess, personally. OF course having lots of message board experience I don't give the poopyheads much thought.

    There was a thread a while back where someone was egging everyone and there were TONS of replies and bickering. I don't even remember what it was. I simply ignored the person. That gets rid of them real quick. Few can seem to resist the bickering though. I remember I kept clicking on that thread every day (kind of like watching a train wreck) and wondering why everyone kept replying...

  3. Carolina Bound Says:

    Well, I guess I'm glad to hear this since I've always kept to the blog world -- so I'm not really missing anything!

  4. monkeymama Says:

    Oh - I just see it now. I ignore the threads that are 10 miles long and are beaten to death. So color me clueless. Wink
    I am glad you still like the blogs - phew.

    I have taken breaks from the boards at times - I do understand. Just cool off and venture back later. Or never... Sorry people can be so insensitive. ((HUGS))

  5. Broken Arrow Says:

    Yeah, I hope I haven't been contributing to that overall stress level.

    I suppose it's the way us guys are sometimes (not that the guys on here are bad or anything, just more ah... more intellectually competitive than emotionally supportive maybe... and the particular incident didn't involve any of us usual guys). I try my best to get along with everyone, but sometimes, I do forget and end up being somewhat competitive or something like that. Big Grin

    But if I can have anything to do with it, I really would rather help foster a supportive, friendly environment more than a competitive environment, or worse, a confrontational one. After all, most of us regulars pretty much know what we have to do to get our finances moving. I think the harder part is finding and fostering that supportive environment to help each other get through our days.

  6. jeffrey Says:

    which thread is it? We have no problem with people criticizing the boards if done in a way to help make them better. If it is just a comment to rile people up with no substance, then it may be removed. If you ever find comments that aren't appropriate, you can flag them (top right) and we can take a look. We tend to be liberal in keeping comments up (we don't want to censor) but we also want it to be a place worth visiting.

  7. jeffrey Says:

    never mind...found it and cleaned it up.

    I am amazed at how civil the boards have remained as they have grown. It's always a difficult task, but if you visited other forums, the ones here reamin quite tame even when there are disagreements. I'm not sur eif there is a split, but it is obvious that some people prefer one area to the other -- don't think this is necessarily a bad thing, but of course would like to see both areas friendly and worth visiting for anyone that wants to.

  8. Nate Says:

    Also remember in the forums you have the option to put someone (or many people) on 'ignore'. I believe not only will that not allow them to message you in the forums, but it will also hide any forum posts or threads they make.

  9. boomeyers Says:

    I stay in the "safety" of blog world too. Timewise, when I have been on the forums, I end up spending too much time wandering around. Glad you are still staying here!

  10. reflectionite Says:

    this has nothing to do with the forums, but you just reminded me of a friend of mine who visited me for a few days. we are the same age, (21) however my group of friends are all above the age of 23 (yes i'm the baby) and she hangs out with all her friends from school and people her own age. and yes, she uses the R word, and also calls things 'gay'. every time she said it i would cringe, not only because it is offensive, but also because it's so immature. even though i am the same age as her i guess spending time with an older crowd i have come to use more imaginative wording.


    anyway. sorry! a big wordy story that wasn't really related... Smile but im glad you're not leaving the blogs though!

  11. Ima saver Says:

    I have not really noticed it either! I am so impressed by this site cause there is so little bickering. Of course, once in a while, we do get a troublemaker. They usually do not last too long!

  12. asmom Says:

    I didn't catch that before it was removed but I must say that as discussion forums go, this one is probably one of the most civil. In fact, I've never been to a discussion forum that didn't have at least one resident curmudgeon who delighted in stirring things up (sometimes it's me) but this one has been blissfully free of that. I wouldn't worry; I think it's going to continue to be a great place for advice and support.

  13. snoopycool Says:

    Wow... I missed that. Glad, too. I have really enjoyed the boards and I hope that you will come back. Those flippin' poopyheads Wink

  14. Aleta Says:

    I hope that you stay because you offer such a great point of view.

  15. disneysteve Says:

    I know exactly what you mean, but I really don't think it is a problem. I find that the people who wander in with a chip on their shoulder don't hang around too long. When they find that others aren't taking their side, they disappear.

    This is by far the most civil board I participate in. One board gets personal and even obscene almost immediately on many threads. Carrying on a civil conversation there is next to impossible.

    So please hang around and just ignore the troublemakers.

  16. terri77 Says:

    I don't even read the message boards. Looks like I'm not missing much.

  17. scfr Says:

    Thanks for all of the supportive comments, and a big thank you to Jeffrey & Nate for cleaning up the offending post(s) and the tips.

    BA - I think I know the types of threads you are referring to ("my fund returns are bigger than your silver options returns") and no, those are not the type that set my teeth on edge. I just roll my eyes at those and think "boys will be boys" ... which I hope does not come across as sexist/offensive, but it does seem to be the males who are more prone to those types of posts.

    I will take a bit of time to cool off, and then wander back over the the forums when I feel like it.

    In the meantime, I will continue to enjoy & learn from all of you in SA Blogland!

    Thanks again everyone.

  18. baselle Says:

    That's funny - I suppose I should come back to the forums and take a look. A few minutes here writing in my blog then catching up to everyone else's blog takes up just the right amount of time, so I've been away from the forums.

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